How to Get Unstuck From Your StoriesJun 03, 2020
Have you ever been taken over by a story or a memory? I’m talking about a full production going through your mind. Complete with setting, characters, backdrops, plots, and going over what you should’ve done, could’ve done, might have done. We’ve all been there, but it doesn’t mean you have to stay there.
If you've experienced any type of trauma, it can be easy to become stuck in the story of your trauma. First of all, it’s not your fault.
So, What’s Happening?
Your body is trying to process thoughts and memories. This can show up in constant ideas flooding your head.
We all have different parts of our personality that may try to take over, control, or modify our behavior. Parts have stories, specific thoughts, emotions, and memories. When triggered, these stories can come to the surface.
My Story as an Example
I had a father who was never really there for me when I was young. That developed a point of view in which I couldn’t be dependent or trusty. That story unconsciously became the filter from which I viewed men and relationships.
I was always talking and acting from a place of defensiveness. I felt that I already knew everything there was to know. Truth is I wasn’t aware that just because I had bad experience it didn’t mean I could determine the truth and reality for every person I interacted with.
It also influenced who I felt attracted to. Men with which I could make sure I would have more power. I could not be dominated emotionally, mentally, financially… I didn’t give a chance to men with a confident personality. I just didn’t know how to communicate.
To deal with this I sat down and wrote a letter, and I realized so many things. I noticed how my father tried to build a relationship with me as a teenager. He did the best he could to repair the situation and be a father to me, but I didn’t let him. I was so angry at him for not being there when I needed him the most.
That’s how powerful that story was, and how it influenced me.
I was seeing him through the eyes of a child, even thought I was an adult at the time. I didn’t allow the relationship to grow or a connection to happen because of how overwhelming the feelings of disappointment, sadness, and fear were. I was always rejecting him, being stuck in my own ways.
Why It’s so Important to Get Unstuck
If you are stuck in your story, you are stuck in the past. Your beliefs become laws and you apply them in the present even if the situation changes… even if you have more resources, wisdom, experience, and desires.
Allow yourself to grow and expand, but most importantly, to heal. This is not about perfection. This is about awareness. When you stop giving the story power, you are ready to be awake for the fullness of who you truly are NOW. You get rid of tunnel vision. You get rid of the pain.
You will also get rid of the poison that not only affects yourself, but also your relationships and the way you see life in general. Once you see things from your own perspective, and not your story’s perspective, you’ll experience complete power. You don’t have control of what happens out there, but you do control the way you voice your opinions and thoughts.
Will you be powerful, or powerless?
You don't have to go at it alone. If you want help to heal from trauma and toxic relationships, join The Relationship Detox.