How Our Multiple Personalities Help Us HealMay 20, 2020
You have multiple personalities.
This is a complex topic, but so necessary if we fully want to understand ourselves. Let’s start by explaining… Why multiple personalities?
You have multiple personalities because there's a part of you…
… that is strong and courageous, and another one that might be afraid of public speaking.
… that wants to be healthy and take care of yourself, and then there’s also a part of you that might just feel tired, wanting to eat a bunch of cookies.
… that is happy and grateful for all the things and commodities in your life, but there’s also that part that’s sad and scared of what’s going on right now.
You get what I mean. Multiple parts and sides that become part of who we are and how we act.
What is the Ego?
The Ego is formed by the parts of us that manage our lives. These parts come from when we were very young, and defined by how we were shaped.
But hey! Your ego is NOT WHO YOU ARE. The Ego is a collection of your identity, a collection of elements that influence your reactions, but do not represent you inner wishes and desires.
Paying Attention to All of Our Parts
Every part of us has a beautiful, wonderful, and resourceful side. We need that to live a balanced and happy life.
When we're cutting ourselves off from parts of our self, we cut ourselves off from the life we deserve.
To be aware and to be plenty, you need to build a new relationship with yourself. Respect and work on the way you handle yourself, the way you love yourself, they way you respect yourself, the way you have integrity with your own words.
The last bit is important. Do you keep your word to yourself?
If you say “I'm going to do this thing for me / to better my life / to better my circumstances”, do you actually go through with it, or you blow it off like it’s nothing? That’s the opposite of establishing and maintaining self-trust. That’s neglecting yourself, and all your parts.
Every relationship requires consistency. When you think about any relationships (romantic, work, partnerships, family), you notice that they require to show up, communicate, and respect boundaries. What kind of relationship do you have with yourself and all your inner parts?
Knowing Our Personalities Can Help us Cope With Conflict
Get into deep those all the aspects that conform YOU. The more you understand yourself, the more you will understand why you react to external conflicts the way you do. And not only that, but transform those reactions. That is true freedom.
There's a part of us that may want to find love, and another part of us that's walled up and pushes people away. What is the reason of that conflict? Which part should we listen to?
You're not broken, you are not a mess. You are just disconnected from yourself. You disconnected from exploring your own parts, and your own multiple personalities. You are not your reactions, and you are not your ego. You are a composition of multiple parts that interact and come up with multiple things that make you feel in multiple ways. Understanding that can help you see conflict from other perspective. One without guilt, without avoiding how we feel because of shame.
Knowing your personalities can also help you move forward. Knowing that you are capable of organizing all those little parts once you are aware of them will give you power.
Dealing With Trauma
The problem is that, if you've experienced trauma, your radar is off. You may perceive danger everywhere, and when you think about living life and taking chances, it’s not joyful.
Looking forward it’s not the only problem. Looking back can surface emotional flashbacks.
Most people don’t even know when they are having them. You can find yourself immediately flooded with feelings that might be unexplainable. Deep hopelessness, shame, sadness, fear. That’s because you didn’t heal yet.
Addressing yourself and getting to know yourself can help identify these signals that were just weird episodes before, but now make sense. They can help you manage yourself, and separate trauma from your personalities. This way you can truly get to know your inner parts.
That's the value of getting to know your multiple personalities. You’ll realize that every part deserves acceptance, even the ones that feel like shadows. Of course, you want to stay in
the light and pretend that the shadows don't exist, but we know nothing ever heals with denial. So we can lie to ourselves, or we can acknowledge our fears and eliminate the pain.
Honor your experiences, your feelings (even the painful ones). And DON’T let them own you. Feelings are automatic, but they don’t have to rule you.
You don't have to go at it alone. If you want help to heal from trauma and toxic relationships, join The Relationship Detox.